Being A Baseball Parent

There's not much that compares to that feeling you get when your son is walking to the plate in a baseball game. It's a little bit of nervousness, mixed with a dose of pride, combined with anticipation. We all know that feeling definitely exists when your son is five, six, or seven. But does it ever really go away?

To find out, we chatted with Joy Ackley, a certified expert in the field of being a baseball parent. She's watched her two sons, Jordan and Dustin, grow up through the various leagues near their home. Dustin eventually went on to play at Carolina, where he led the Tar Heels to three straight College World Series appearances. He was a three-time All-America, the National Player of the Year in 2009, and was named the Hitter of the Decade for the 2000s by Rivals.com. Those accolades translated to his selection by the Seattle Mariners second overall in the 2009 Major League Baseball draft. He's currently playing for Seattle's AAA club, the Tacoma Rainiers, and you can watch him live at 8 p.m. tonight on Versus in the AAA national championship game.

While Mrs. Ackley was in Memphis last week watching Dusty and the Rainiers defeat the Redbirds, she was nice enough to answer a few Mudcat-centric questions:

Q: What do you remember about Dustin’s youngest Little League days? When did he start playing?
Joy Ackley: Dusty started playing baseball when he was 5. We had to take him to a league a little farther from home that would allow 5 year olds to play. At the time Little League only had T-ball and allowed players 6 and up to play. Dusty had been watching his older brother, Jordan, play for 2 years and he was more than ready to take the field himself. This was a coach pitch league. Jordan had been playing T-ball for 2 years, so he was thankful for the switch too. What I remember most about Dusty's first years is that he was really fast, even back then. And he wanted to swing at every pitch. He could hit the ball no matter where it was thrown, so his dad had to tell him to wait for the coach to throw him a good pitch.

Q: What are your favorite memories of Dustin playing baseball in that 5- or 6-year-old age range?
JA: My favorite memory is of Dusty's first at-bat when he was 5 and I actually have it on video. He hit the ball, ran to 1st base and was safe. He was so excited he kept jumping up and down off the bag. Thankfully, the opposing team didn't realize they could have tagged him out during his jumping!

Another memory I have is of a practice during his first year. He played in the outfield behind the second baseman and one of the 8 year olds hit a hard grounder that took a bad hop and the ball came up and hit Dusty in the face. There was some blood and some tears, but I loved the way his coach handled it. He took all of the other players off the field and had Dusty go back out there, after we had cleaned him up and made sure he was OK. He must have hit 30 balls to him and let him field them and throw them back. I think good coaching is so important at this age. The kids learn to love the game when they are young if they have great coaches. My husband has coached at all levels, so I know how difficult the job can be.

Q: You’ve watched him play at virtually every level in baseball. Has the way you watched him (and the game) changed at all? How does the stress of watching him on a Little League field compare with the stress of watching him on the field in Omaha?
JA: I remember when our boys were younger that I got nervous when they were up at bat. I knew they wanted so much to do well and parents love to see their kids be successful no matter what they attempt to do. Nothing, for me though, compares to the nervousness that a mother feels when her son is pitching. Thankfully, I didn't have to experience that anymore after high school.

Both of our sons pitched through high school and those times were the most stressful for me. I don't think I was cut out to be the mom of a pitcher. My husband, John, coached Dusty in AAU ball and would always save him to pitch in those critical situations like, bottom of the 9th, bases loaded and we're only up by 1 run...well you get the picture! It would drive me crazy, but he knew Dusty wouldn't get rattled. He would go out there and do his best. Most of the time he would do great, but sometimes he'd give up the winning runs. John used to tell me, "I knew Dusty would throw strikes." If the other team was going to win, he wanted them to earn it. He didn't want our team to walk the tying or winning run in. I'm sure it bothered Dusty when he gave up those runs, but he has never shown a lot of emotion, win or lose. He definitely gets his calmness from his dad!

Omaha was such a great experience for my whole family. We all feel very blessed to have been able to follow the Tar Heels there three years in a row. The stress level does go up a few notches when you know your son is playing in front of a crowd of 25,000 plus and it's on national TV. Also, with every game there is so much at stake. After you lose that first game, the next loss means you go home. I think what gave me a sense of calmness was knowing Dusty always did everything he could to prepare himself to be the best he could be at this game he loves so much. God blessed our son with a lot of natural ability and Dusty has worked very hard to develop those abilities. A parent can't ask for anymore than that and we are so proud of him for how hard he works.

Q: What advice would you give the parents of our players about how to watch and enjoy their sons’ games as they start out in their baseball journey?
JA: I asked John (Joy's husband/Dusty's dad) about this one. He says let your kids have fun. Don't put any pressure on them. If you are coaching, have a lot of patience.

I say, if you are nervous try not to let your child know. Until they have kids of their own, they won't understand why YOU are nervous. Baseball is such a mental game. I think building confidence in the player is so important. They have to go out there thinking they're going to get a hit every time. Also, make sure they always remember this is a game. My boys love playing this game. They would have played every day if they could have. And play with them at home. We had many games in our front yard. Jordan and Dustin still go out and play catch when they are both at home.

Also, YOU need to remember it's a game. If it's not fun for your family then find something that is. I have witnessed parents at Little League games, that you would have thought their team was playing in the world series. I'm not saying don't cheer them on, but please keep everything in perspective.

Q: We’re all familiar with that feeling of nervousness as your son steps to the plate. Does that ever change and/or go away?
JA: We are in Memphis now watching Dusty play in the League championship for his Triple-A Tacoma Rainiers' team. The first night he was 0 for 4, last night he was 1 for 5. I don't know if it is because I have seen him play in so many games now or what, but I don't get so nervous anymore. He works so hard and always does his best. A lot of times he hits the ball so hard and great plays are made in the field. That's what makes this game exciting and so much fun to watch. Sometimes it's my son making that great play. I don't think that nervous feeling ever completely goes away, maybe it just evolves. As your son develops and learns the game, you get a sense of appreciation for everything he does on the field and don't focus so much just on those plate appearances.

Q: Is there anything you felt that was particularly valuable to Dustin in his younger baseball career?
JA: I think having an older brother to play ball with and learn from and also a father who had played pro ball were both extremely valuable to Dusty. Dusty was always playing pickup games with kids 2 or 3 years older than him. He was the bat boy for Jordan's team and they would let him take BP with the team. He loved that.

There were also 2 things I heard John preach to both our boys: 1) "Always hustle, on and off the field." You may make errors, not get hits, but you can and should always hustle! 2) If you are thrown an outside pitch, drive the ball the other way. John was a pull hitter and knocked tons of balls out of parks FOUL because he tried to pull everything. Dusty has been recognized as a player that can drive the ball to all parts of the field. I credit his dad for teaching him to do that from a very young age.

Q: John played the game at a very high level. How did he balance being an “expert” on the game of baseball with being a supportive dad, and in what ways was that a challenge?
JA: John says it really wasn't that hard. He just tried to teach Dusty and his teammates the things that he was taught or learned himself during his career. Since Dusty stopped playing AAU ball John's role has shifted from teacher/coach to encourager. It's hard when you are watching your son go through a slump, especially like the one Dusty was in at the beginning of the season.

I heard John on the phone with Dusty many times telling him it was just part of baseball. He had been there before and every player goes through these slumps. It's quite an adjustment going from an aluminum bat to a wooden bat, playing games almost every day for 7 months, moving back and forth across the country and switching to a position that you've really never played before. Has it been an adjustment for him? Absolutely! Are any of us complaining? Absolutely NOT! Our son is living his dream.